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Relationship tips for single women that will keep you real and happy
We know it can be tough to navigate the potentially treacherous waters of a relationship – balancing your needs against what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship, and the intrinsic feeling of failure you have if you aren't successful or if your knight in shining armor is taking his sweet time arriving.
But, here’s some advice from those who have come before you – and are right there with you.
1. You Must Love Yourself Before You Can Love Someone Else
No one is going to complete a you that isn't already whole. You must be in love with yourself before anyone else can be in love with you. Often, what motivates you to seek acceptance from others is really a desire to accept yourself – so, make yourself your own biggest source of self-esteem and others will be drawn to your sparkle!
2. Slow Your Roll!
A lot of those gooey couples claim that they knew on the first date that this was the person they are going to marry. Well, no matter how many times bae tells us that if he likes it, he better put a ring on it, try and keep this in mind: Not every date is a potential mate. One good date shouldn't have you sending out the save the dates. This puts unrealistic expectations on both of you, and can cause you to obsess and come on too strong. Relax and get to the know the person – and stop imagining what your future kids are going to look like!
3. A Man Is Not A Lump Of Clay For You To Mold
It’s a cliché – a woman marries a man hoping he’ll change, a man marries a woman hoping she won’t. The truth is, don’t expect to change ANYONE – unless you’re a particularly good hypnotist. While you certainly have the right to express your opinion and suggest to your partner expectations you have, at the end of the day, the decision to make a change is entirely theirs.
4. Don’t Expect Different Results If You’re Repeating The Same Actions
It’s so easy to fall into a pattern – and, when we've been a loop for so long, we may come to think of that way of life as normal. Dating the same type of guy or repeating the same behavior in a relationship is bound to yield the same results. If you want a change, then do something differently.
5. Enjoy Yourself While You Can
Believe it or not, you’re most likely not going to be single forever – so, enjoy the time you have with yourself and use it productively. Work on your career, your physical, mental, and emotional well being, and getting yourself into a place where you can offer someone the best of you. But, have some fun too! There’s never going to be a better time to write that novel, take that French cooking class or book those luxury holidays that you've always wanted to.
6. Don’t Make Excuses For People Who Need To Be Excused From Your Life
There are two kinds of people who you don’t have time for – the ones who are dead weight and the pop-ins. The dead weights take your time and energy while giving you little or nothing in return – while the pop-ins come and go at their whim, leaving you wondering. It may be difficult to let go of these people, but once you do, we promise, you’ll feel lighter and more in control of your life.
7. Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend
It’s natural for a woman to want to show a man what a good wife she would make – and we’re instinctively nurturers. It’s fine to show caring and love to a man, but, be mindful of giving away too much of yourself too soon to someone who doesn't deserve it.
8. Don’t Confuse Love With Lust
It’s important to make the distinction between what feels good to you and what’s good for you. The more quickly you give in to those hormonal desires, the more difficult this is going to be to discern. Don’t overlook future necessities just to satisfy your present desires and don’t confuse love with lust.
9. Things Take Time
Nothing happens overnight – and the more you desire it, the more frustration you will feel during the course of events. If you’re so hung up on where your Prince Charming is, you’re going to miss out on the excitement and freedom of being single. If you’re obsessing over when the ring is coming, you’re going to miss the romance and fun of that special dating period. If you’re desperate to have a child right away, you’re going to miss out on the honeymoon period that solidifies that marital bond. Things happen in their own time. Have a little faith that there’s a master plan, and you’re a part of it.
10. Don’t Panic When You Hit The Big “3-0”
There’s something about that age that makes us re-evaluate every life decision we've ever made. If you’re there, or even if you’re still getting there – it can be a time of frustration, anxiety, and depression if things aren't looking like they did in your head. Don’t be the woman who is obsessed with trying to find a man or constantly sad about not having one, so, she finds herself desperate, settling and/or overwhelmed with sadness because she’s so consumed thinking about what isn't instead of what is.
Live in the present. Life is short, so don’t spend a moment of it bemoaning how you think is should look rather than how it actually does. Instead, empower yourself – make good decisions for yourself, and find happiness with all the wonderful things in your world right now, because we promise, there are a lot of them!