Let's assume you're having a conversation with your partner and your gut tells you "this isn't particularly the truth", how do you tell if he/she is lying to you?
As the world advances, communication almost never happens face-to-face anymore, which means you can't read body languages or listen to the tone of voice of the person you are speaking to especially when a text is written.
- Being Insistent: If the person is emphatic about something, he/she may be trying to push a lie. Pushing too hard could indicate too much effort is forcing a lie.
- Repetition: Attend to the fact that a person is saying the same thing repeatedly, but in a different way. This may indicate that he or she is trying to get you to believe a point of untruth as well.
- Distancing Technique: Look for the omission of personal pronouns and references to self. This is a distancing technique. For example, “I really loved spending time with you yesterday and hope we can do it again.” Reply: “Yes, it was a good time.”
- Non Direct Answers: No answers to specific questions. You ask and the person doesn’t really answer directly. In some cases, the person may change the subject. This should make you think, “What is he/she not saying or even hiding?”
- Change of Pace: The language or pace of a conversation changes from what you know to be normally. Parents understand this! We know our kids and when they begin talking in ways that are not typical of them, or use words that we don’t typically hear, or even answer too fast or too slow, we know something is up. If you know someone well, you can usually tell if his or her way of responding to you is different from the normal.
- Using Noncommittal Language: When people can’t commit or are unsure, think about what they may not be saying. Hedging on an answer can indicate that they are answering but not telling you the entire story.
- Lead In Statements: “I’m afraid to tell you…” or “To be honest…” may indicate the person hasn’t told you the truth, things are heating up and you are about to hear more news.
- Changing the Tense: As the story is reported in the past tense, the tense suddenly changes and made up events begin to be added. We call this fabricating a story (think our current government’s report on crises).
- Hesitation: When you ask to speak to the person in person and the person hesitates, something may be up!