Some women opt to date around before they settle down, but once they do, they start looking for different things in a man. They will still be attracted to the same things like looks, personality and other traits, but they won’t settle for good reviews on those alone. They will look deeper and further into a man’s whole repertoire. Is he a good person? Will he make a good husband? They won’t ask this outright, but they do have ways to find out.
How women check for signs that he’s “The One”
#1 No freeloading. We want The One to be secure in his finances. We do not want someone who depends on anyone, when it comes to their survival. It is okay to get help now and then, but we will not tolerate being in a relationship with someone who has no tangible plans on how to earn for himself.
#2 Must be sex-able. This is not the first thing that we look at when looking for a man, but it will cross our minds. When we meet someone new, our bodies and minds will determine whether we are willing to sleep with a man at some point. If we are not physically attracted to a person at first, we need to at least find out whether we can think differently, before we go in any deeper into the relationship.
#3 No to violence and abuse. You can’t really say whether a person is capable of hurting another person, until it happens. Still, there are signs that can alert us to your true colors when necessary. It could be the way you talk to other people or the way you treat us when we’re having an argument. The point is that we will never settle for a man who thinks it’s okay to inflict pain on a woman, physically or otherwise.
#4 Must have a goal. We might enjoy the initial phases of the relationship like the lovey-dovey moments and the whispering of sweet nothings, but that will never hold up in a full-on adult relationship. At some point, we need to talk about plans and goals for the future. If a man has none, most women won’t stay long enough for him to realize that he needs to get his act together.
#5 Must be an appealing conversationalist. We’re not asking for an award-winning debater. We just want someone who can engage us in an intelligent conversation. We don’t like close-ended questions and answers. We want to be riveted. Don’t put so much pressure on yourselves to do that, but please have something interesting to say now and then.
#6 Communication must be consistent. Women love to talk. We can’t just have one awesome conversation, and then settle for scraps after. In order for a relationship to succeed, both people must be capable of sharing, communicating and connecting. We want to know that you’re thinking about us from time to time. We want you to know we feel the same way. That won’t happen if guys don’t communicate with us on a regular basis.
#7 Love is in the equation. Before any of our serious relationships can progress, we need to know if a guy is willing to put his heart on the line. We are aware that guys aren’t very expressive, but they are capable of showing their feelings to the person they really like. If there’s no possibility of falling in love, our hearts would break, and we’d be forced to find someone who can give us the love we want.
#8 Chivalry is mandatory. We don’t seek extreme acts of chivalry like fighting for our honor or throwing your jacket over a puddle. Our idea of chivalry is simple, like opening a car door or pulling out a chair for us. We won’t even hold it against you if you don’t do that. All we want is a man who is thoughtful and considerate of our needs. We want a gentleman who respects us – someone who makes sure that we’re safe and cared for.
#9 Dress code implemented. We don’t care much about clothing brands or the latest in men’s fashion – we’re more concerned with our clothes. Still, we expect the man we’re dating to be neat and proper whenever we’re outside. They should wear the appropriate attire for our dates and refrain from streaking in public. That isn’t too much to ask, right?
#10 Compromise necessary. We know you’re perfect for us when we see that you are levelheaded and adaptable. I know we can be demanding sometimes, but a man who can be diplomatic about any situation is a keeper. We don’t expect you to dominate us or allow us to subjugate you. However, we do want you to treat us as equals. Once we see that a man is willing to compromise, we can be sure that our relationship is headed in the right direction.
#11 Principles must be in line with each other’s. It is understandable that two people’s ideals can clash, especially when they did not grow up together. When those principles are questioned, you need to be prepared to open your mind. If you cannot agree with each other’s way of thinking, starting a relationship would be futile. The best case scenario is when you both respect each other’s way of thinking without wanting to change the other.
#12 Must respect each other’s beliefs. Beliefs are a different story altogether. Each belief has its own sets of principles, but they are much harder to change, because their roots are formed by different sects in society. Religion is a very touchy subject, because it can’t be swept under the rug. It’s the same with cultural practices. You can date someone who has a different belief system, but you can’t force them to change it unless they want to.
#13 Sparks should be obvious. Laugh if you must, but a lot of us believe in “The Spark.” We cannot presume to be in a romantic relationship if we don’t see ourselves clicking with the guy we like. The attraction might be evident, but the feelings need to be there for us to consider whether a guy is the one for us.
#14 We need to feel wanted. You can make us feel pretty, sexy or even smart, but the only thing we care about is whether you really like us. We want to feel that you can’t get enough of us. A guy can do this just by showing us that he cares. We don’t want to be ignored or put on a shelf until we’re needed. Your affection for us must be constant or as often as within reason.
#15 Willingness to commit will be assessed. This is the most important factor that we assess when we’re looking for The One. We can’t choose a person to spend the rest of our life with, if he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s easy to spot guys who are ready for a serious relationship. You don’t even have to ask them if they are willing to commit to you. They are the ones most likely to step up and tell you that you’re the only one that they want to be with.