Top reasons relationships fail, and how to avoid them

In today’s world, failed relationships are more the exception than the rule. Some people change spouses like they change socks. Easy come, easy go. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. You can have a great relationship despite the fact that so many others aren’t.
No one gets in a relationship with a man to see it fail. You have hopes and dreams that the same happiness you had when you met is there when you’re old and gray. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that.

#1 Getting Too Serious Too Quickly

This one is tough because when you fall for a guy, normally you fall pretty hard. You want to spend all your time together. Pretty soon, you’re thinking about houses with white picket fences and little versions of your man running around.
While it’s great to have dreams, if you get too serious too quickly, you don’t give enough time to get to know each other. Sure, when you’re in your honeymoon phase you think your relationship can survive anything. But, if you haven’t taken the time to find out if you have the same hopes, dreams and visions of the future, reality is going to give you a pretty hard slap in the face.
The best thing you can do is take it slow. Take the time to explore what you both want out of life and see if you’re headed in the same direction. While your dreams don’t have to be exact, they at least have to be in the same ball park.




#2 Making Him Personally Responsible For Your Happiness

Ladies, we do this all the time. But, it’s not his responsibility to make you happy all the time. It’s yours. Sure, he can add to your happiness, but to make him completely responsible for it is like making him responsible for the sun coming up. It’s beyond his control.
The key to being happy as a couple is being happy as individuals. Do things that make you smile. If you’re happy with yourself, you’re more likely to be happy with him.




#3 Not Saying What’s on Your Mind

Sometimes we expect our guys to be mind readers. Like they should know how we feel or when something upsets us. But the truth is, they can’t read our minds any more than we can read theirs.
Even if he knows you’re upset, he isn’t necessarily going to do the girl-thing and push and prod you until you finally say what’s wrong. No, he’s likely to do the guy thing. He’s going to pretend nothing is wrong until you say it is.
If there’s something on your mind, say it. Put it out there. You can’t resolve an issue with him if he doesn’t know it exists.



#4 Not Spending Quality Time Together

Life gets hectic. You have work, kids and home obligations and when you do have a little bit of time, you have no energy left. Date night takes second fiddle to kid’s soccer games and what used to be quiet time alone is now time spent trying to get the kids to brush their teeth into bed at a reasonable time.
Sometimes, our family and jobs have to take priority. That’s understandable. But, if you keep putting quality time together on the backburner, eventually, the flame will go out and you’ll be left with a cold, lifeless relationship.
Set aside one day a week or every two weeks where you can have quality, uninterrupted time alone together. Go to dinner. Go for a walk. Go dancing. Do anything. Just do it together.



#5 Not Truly Listening to Him

Have you ever had a conversation with your guy and walked away with no clue what he just said because you were thinking about something else? Maybe you were running your to-do list through your mind, or planning what you were going to make for dinner.
If you don’t truly listen to what he says, you’re missing the opportunity for some great conversation. And, if you show interest in his life, he will likely return the favor and show interest in yours as well.
So, when he starts talking, quit multitasking. If possible, stop whatever you’re doing and pay attention to what he’s saying. And, be an active listener. Ask questions. Show him that you hear him.



#6 Not Trusting Him When You Should

You see it all the time; women checking their man’s cell phone for texts, email for messages and pants pockets for unknown numbers. Why? Because she wants to make sure he’s not cheating. No, he hasn’t given her a reason to think he is, she just wants to know for sure.
Why would you not trust him when he’s given you no reason to think otherwise? If you don’t trust him, why stay in the relationship? Why make both of you miserable? Learn how to trust him or move on because if you stay where you’re at and keep doing what you’re doing, your relationship will likely soon end anyway.



#7 Continuing to Bring Up Past Issues

How many times have you had a fight and brought up things he did in 1992? Does it get you anywhere? No? But you still keep doing it?
Here’s the problem with bringing up past issues: they’re in the past. That means that nothing can be done to change them. They’re over and done with.
If you want a healthy relationship, you need to deal with things that are currently happening. Focus on today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Today.
If there’s something that hasn’t resolved itself, it will rear its ugly head again and give you ample opportunity to deal with it. So, for now, let it go.



#8 Testing The Relationship (Playing Games)

Have you ever said something to him just to test his response? Maybe you tell him he doesn’t have to get you something for your anniversary because it’s no big deal, but it is a big deal, you’re just testing him to see if he does the right thing? If you’re going to play games, be prepared to lose.
If you say or do things just to set him up and then tear him down when he makes the wrong decision, you’re relationship has a high likelihood of not passing the test. If you tell him something, he should expect it to be the truth.
If you want a close, loving relationship you don’t have to test it. Life tests us enough on its own. So, next time you’re about to say something you don’t mean just to see how he responds, bite your tongue and forfeit your turn.



#9 Keeping Score

Do you keep track of what you do for him versus what he does for you? For instance, do you count the number of times you put the dishes away from the dishwasher versus how often he’s done it? Or, do you know the exact number of times you’ve had to take out the garbage because he’s forgot?
When you’re in a relationship, it isn’t about what you receive, it’s about give and take. Maybe he’s not the best about putting dishes away, but he always takes care of the oil change when your car needs it.
Let go of the score mentality. It’s not about what he does for you or even what you do for him. It’s about what you both do for the relationship.



#10 Not Accepting Him Completely (Expecting Him to Change)

Have you ever done this? Have you got into a relationship thinking you could change him and everything would be perfect? And, how has that worked for you?
No one changes unless they want to. It doesn’t matter how badly you want it, if he doesn’t then it’s not going to happen. Besides, if you want him to change, why are you with him in the first place?
If you can’t accept your guy, faults and all, then your relationship isn’t going to work. You’re never going to find the perfect man because he doesn’t exist. You just have to find someone who’s perfect for you.
Relationships are hard, even when they’re easy. By taking an active role and doing what you can to nurture it and make it strong, you are opening yourself up to a more mature love, one based on trust, respect and friendship. One that not only survives, but thrives. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Before you give your heart out to someone who might not deserve it as much as you think, check for these signs. For ladies

If you’re dating a commitment phobe, chances are you won’t be able to change him and it is most likely in your best interest to get out of the relationship before you get hurt. There are many reasons why people are afraid of commitment. Usually, though, the most common reason for fear of commitment is fear of having your heart broken.

Is he afraid of commitment?
I have wasted a great deal of time pining for guys who are huge commitment phobes. They’re afraid of being tied down to one person and what that could mean for their future. Personally, I got really, really sick of it.
But at least one good thing came out of my having to deal with all those men with commitment phobia—I learned the different ways to tell if he is a commitment phobe right from the get-go. And lucky for you, I’ll divulge those secrets to you so you don’t have to go through the same struggles that I did.



#1 You’ve Never Met His Family

Okay, if you’re fresh in the relationship, this isn’t one to be alarmed about. Men are generally a little more shy about introducing their flame to the fam. You see, although not all men are commitment phobes, most are definitely going to hesitate to introduce you to their mom. But let me tell you why.
In general, when a man introduces you to his family, it’s a very big deal. Not only is he claiming you as his and his alone, but he’s saying that he’s no longer on the market either. That’s right. It’s a little bit inhibiting to meet the family. Also, there’s his mom. As soon as your guy’s mom meets you, the only thing he’ll hear for the rest of forever is “when am I going to get grandbabies?” Trust me on this.
Then again, maybe he’s afraid that his crazy family might frighten you away. I know plenty of crazy families. I dated a guy for three years, ladies, THREE YEARS and I saw his mom twice from the comfort of my car. He wasn’t a commitment phobe; his mom was just weird with the idea of her grown up son dating (yeah, I didn’t get it either).
On the other hand, if you’ve been dating a guy for a reasonable amount of time and haven’t met his family, then there’s a chance he’s a commitment phobe. It really goes back to that “giving up his freedom” thing. You have to know the difference (and if he’s afraid of commitment, there will be other signs to look for…keep reading).




#2 You’ve Never Met His Friends

Any man who is proud of his woman will show her off to his friends. You will have his best buddies hanging out at your place regularly, you’ll have dinner parties, you’ll meet them for a movie…you will meet his friends.
If you have not met any of his friends and you’ve been dating for a few months, then be wary. The reason commitment phobes don’t introduce you to their friends is because they hate to hear the “You’re an assh*le” comments from their buddies after you’ve been dumped.




#3 He Leaves Right After Sex

Don’t let “waiting for sex” confuse you into ignoring this tell-tale sign. Of all the things to watch out for with a commitment phobe, this is the biggest one. I will tell you now, openly and honestly, that I’ve had enough lovers to know that the ones who give a damn about you will stay and hold you.
If he leaves right after sex (Thank you, babe, sorry I have to go… I’ve got a busy day tomorrow… blah blah blah) then he’s definitely a commitment phobe. Men who care about you want to make sure that you’re physically and, more importantly, emotionally satisfied. They WANT TO KEEP YOU (I can’t stress that enough).
Another thing to watch out for is how he acts if he stays. This one can be tricky. My last booty call (because, let’s be honest, it wasn’t a relationship) would stay the night, wrap his arms around me and cuddle me comfortably…when he was drunk or too tired to drive, that is.
When he was sober, he would put his pants on, say something like “see you around,” and walk out the door. Which is fine for a booty call…but it’s never fine for a boyfriend to act that way. On the other hand, the last guy I “dated” had a different approach. I waited a couple of months to have sex with him. I really thought he was interested in starting a relationship with me (since that’s what he told me) and so I took my time getting to know him.
When we finally did have sex, he rolled right over, turned his back to me, and then told me the next morning that he would rather have an “open relationship.” Mind you, I’d already met his family and some of his friends, too.
Yeah, he completely flipped his wig on me.
I, of course, was furious, but a few weeks later, when he tried to make amends, I gave him another chance. Guess what happened? The SAME THING. But it ended even worse. He blamed me (for what, I really don’t know) and was rude to the point of calling me old and fat (as if!). Know that commitment phobes will turn it on you and FIND a reason to leave.




#4 He Has Plenty of Exes

Watch out for any man who has more exes than he can count. There’s something wrong. If he gives you the “I just haven’t found the right one” line, he’s lying. He has probably found a lot of right ones; he just got too scared to follow through.
It’s normal for a guy to have a few exes. However, if he’s had quite a few exes and he insists that none of the break-ups were his fault, then he’s definitely a commitment phobe. There’s no way that every relationship problem was HER fault.




#5 You Get Blamed for Plans He Doesn’t Want to Do

Do you want to see a chick flick? Have you made plans to go to the movies for weeks? Did he suddenly cancel your date at the last minute and blame YOU for it? If he cancels the plans you made for any reason other than work or an ill family member, and he says it’s your fault for making plans on this day (you know, a day he’s always really busy) anyway, then he’s a commitment phobe. Men who are afraid of commitment will find it too “commitment-like” to do the things that you enjoy.
It’s kind of like they’re afraid of making you happy because they don’t want you to become attached to them, so acting like a complete jerk is their way of keeping you at a distance. Yes, you read that correctly.
The point is, if you’re guy is this kind of guy, then he’s not really into you (or he’s into himself a little too much). Get rid of him.




#6 Things Have to Go His Way

Much like his inability to do anything you like, the commitment phobe has to have everything his way. When you go out, you eat where he wants (usually he suggests it in a casual and appealing way), you watch what he wants, and you do what he wants. You probably don’t even realize you’re doing it, either. They’re very good at making their plans seem like it was your idea anyway.




#7 You Get Emotionally Blackmailed

Let me give you a scenario. I had been lovers with a guy for over a year. It was casual, we sometimes hung out as friends, but most often not. I was under a lot of stress and had just reached a point where I needed to cry.
I sent him a text and asked him quite simply if I was crazy. He said no, of course not, and offered to come and let me cry on his shoulder. So, I let him come over, he lay in bed and held me all night while I sobbed and snot on his shirt.
The next morning I thanked him and told him I really needed that. He replied, “Don’t get used to it,” and walked out the door.
The ultimate commitment phobe.
Your man might not be as open about his lack of commitment. You might not wake up the morning after sex to hear him say, “I don’t think this is going to work.” Your guy might be more subtle about it.
My ex-boyfriend of about six years ago was that kind. I didn’t even realize he was a commitment phobe until well later in the relationship. There were subtle signs. For example, I couldn’t argue with him because he would say I was being overbearing and that would give him cause to break up with me.
The real truth came out when we were talking about marriage. He said he was seriously thinking of marrying me. However, in the end he couldn’t commit to it, said he wasn’t ready for that step, and he left. I never saw it coming.
The most undetectable sign I want you to be aware of is when you are not able to be yourself around him. If you’re afraid to “rock the boat” a little, or scared to argue with him because he says he’ll leave you if you’re too much to deal with, then you need to know it’s NOT YOU. It really is him, he just wants you to do something he doesn’t agree with so that he has an excuse to break up with you and make it your fault.




#8 You Never Know How He Feels

A commitment phobe will never tell you how he feels about you. He’ll skirt the issue. You won’t hear words of love and adoration; in fact, you’ll rarely hear words of praise.
More than that, he won’t tell you when something is bothering him because he doesn’t feel like you have the right to know. Knowing how he feels (in his opinion) gives you an emotional advantage over him. It means that he showed a side of vulnerability that is normally associated with relationship intimacy.
If he does talk about his feelings, it’s in order to tell you how sad he is that all of his ex’s were such terrible women, or to tell you how he feels about eating at a restaurant he has chosen to take you to. Watch out for this sign; it might slip past you.




#9 He’s Never There for You

If you have car problems, get lost, get sick, or anything else that could possibly require a partner to help you out…expect the commitment phobe to be unavailable. He won’t answer your calls and he won’t “be able” to make it there to help you tonight (unless he expects sex, in which case he’ll show, but he’ll tell you how awesome he is for coming out to help you).
A real relationship means the two people are there for each other. If you can’t rely on him to be there for you when things get a little tough then don’t expect him to be there at all. He won’t be.




#10 He Suddenly Lost Interest

Finally, one of the biggest signs he has commitment phobia is that he suddenly loses interest in you. It’s not something that happens over time; it’s almost overnight. He’ll be too busy to see you, he’ll make excuses to cancel your plans, and he’ll take hours to respond to your texts (if he responds at all).  A guy who suddenly, and for no apparent reason, loses interest in you is afraid of commitment; he doesn’t want to be with one woman too long. Let him go; you’ll find another.
Don’t settle for a man who has commitment phobia. No matter how much you want him to, he will never change. Instead, dump him and find yourself a man who truly loves and cares about you and who will be there for you at any time.

Reasons why we’re jealous, tips from a female relationship therapist

Being a jealous woman in today’s fake-how-you-feel society is never viewed as a good thing. We know that that’s why we strive to keep our cool even when we saw our man just check out that hot chick who passed by while we were sitting over coffee. We’ve been afraid of being labeled as the ‘jealous woman’ so we’ve done our best to be play the cool girl’s role. You’ll have to deal with jealousy at one point or another in your relationship. So, if ever your boyfriend gets upset when you’re jealous, we’ve rounded up the reasons you can use to make him see the good in it.



1. We’re jealous because we care about our relationship

We’ve worked hard for it together, and we don’t want all our efforts to go to waste just because you can’t resist flirting with anything that wears a skirt. It’s one way we check what’s in your heart, for if there’s no love anymore, there’s no point in making both of us stay and suffer, right?
With that said, jealousy is one way we show you how much we care (even if you won’t agree to that all the time). You can ask your mom or sister or any female relative you’re close to if you’re still not convinced.




2. It means you’re not just important, but prized

Things that don’t have that much worth to you often get ignored. They disappear and you don’t even notice that they did. It’s the same thing with you and our relationship. You’re of so much worth to us that we won’t just shrug off any sign that we may lose you over someone.
Call it possessiveness, but it’s just us guarding what’s rightfully ours. It’s the same thing with anything we value in life. For instance, your home or car. It’s not like you just let anyone stare, get near or touch it when you’re around, right?



3. It’s also our subtle way of showing we’re scared of losing you

It’s not like we can tell you about our greatest fears and insecurities in life as we share dinner before going to bed or watching Netflix on our days off. So, when we show our jealous side, it’s us simply telling you we want you in our life for as long as possible.



4. We’re capable of feelings, too

We can’t blame you if you’ve forgotten that we feel things, too (insecurity and jealousy included), given the fact that we’ve always showed you our strong and independent side. However, we actually do and jealousy helps us to get that message across. We sincerely hope you get it by now.



5. We’re reminding you about how you behave in public

We couldn’t really care less if every woman who passed by us (or the other way around) at the mall bats their lashes to get you to notice them. However, if you respond by winking at them or giving them that smile that captured our hearts when we were just in the beginning of our relationship, it’s another story.



6. You should learn to be sensitive to our feelings

It’s an art most men struggle to master. Our jealous side will help you to get better each time until you nail it (and you can thank us then).



7. It’s one way you can improve in the relationship

If you take any of our comments about how you can’t resist doing a double take on hot women who pass by you constructively, take a mental note of the supposed criticism, and take it to heart without resenting us. You’ll be a better version of yourself. When that happens, we won’t be able to help ourselves. We’ll fall more in love with you.



8. It’s the best way you can test how much we love you

It pains us to be mushy and corny (and we know you feel the same way, or worse), but that’s the number one reason behind our jealousy: we love you. You should actually have known it for some time now, but if you still need convincing, we’re giving it to you straight now.
We’re jealous when your attention is on someone else because we are in love with you. Don’t make us repeat that, okay? We’re not Chuck and Blair. We’re an even better couple than them.
You’ll hardly find a woman who will intentionally act jealous all the time. It’s because when we get jealous, it’s almost always because there’s a reason behind it.
Or, it’s probably because of some things that you do or might have done without knowing it will make us jealous. With this said, know that we know how jealousy is completely unavoidable but should only be exercised in moderation (because too much of anything is never good). So, keep calm and be assured, we won’t be the jealous woman if you don’t give us a reason to.

Tips to giving the best shot possible in a relationship to keep your man happy

Many women have been told what to do, and don’t know the big NO NO’s of relationships that are obvious to men, and almost a different language to some women. We all know things that can make a guy happy, but what is it that makes him unhappy and scares him away? If you really want to know how to make your boyfriend happy, we suggest you start by never doing any of these things. Sometimes it’s what we don’t do that sends the strongest message.



1. Be jealous

Easier said than done, right? Where does jealousy stem from, our man or our own insecurities? If we truly aren’t looking for happiness in someone else and are happy on our own but do have a man, we will not be jealous and here is why. If you trust yourself, you have no reason to think that you attracted a dishonest man to you.
If you know your worth, you know he’s losing a lot if he messes it up, and your time is too valuable to be pining over and speculating on all the ways he might be ruining your life. Unless you see it, don’t sniff it out, because when you focus on things, it can bring them into your reality.
Jealousy can turn a good man mad and push him away from you. If you are badgering him with questions, throwing jealous glares at him in public, or reading through his text messages, chances are the man won’t want to stay with you.
If you give him no leash and just trust him, he will want to live up to your standards of impeccability. If you have self-worth, trust him; unless he gives you reason to think otherwise.
Jealousy from either person is a real turn off, especially when you are trustworthy. It will make someone turn cold to you and is actually insulting. So don’t let those thoughts creep into your mind, know your worth and if he messes up, move on.





2. Insult his mother

Even if your boyfriend sometimes talks badly about his mother, it doesn’t give you the right to say anything bad about her. If you don’t want to insult him, you’ll make sure you don’t cross the line with this. Instinctive feelings come up when anyone insults our mothers, and it’s not worth ruining a relationship just by saying a few cheap lines about her. Keep those feelings to yourself and you’ll keep him happy.





3. Go back on your word

If you really want to keep your boyfriend happy, keep your word. Just as we like men to do what they say, they like us to do so too. Call when you say you will, show up on time, and don’t stand him up. If you blow him off or forget to follow through with things, it will make you look like you don’t care and make you look irresponsible, because all he has to go by is your actions.
Following through with what you say you’re going to do builds strength and trust in a relationship. If you are flakey, he will get discouraged. If your boyfriend is serious about you, he won’t want you to play games, so just be direct and do what you say.




4. Be bossy

If you want to keep your boyfriend happy, try not to crack the whip too much. Have you ever seen a girl that calls all the shots? The poor guy gets dwarfed by her alpha male attitude and it’s not fun for him. If you have a tendency to be a control freak, try to keep it under control, pun intended.
Just be aware of it and remind yourself to ask him what he would like to do, and ask him what movie he would like to watch. Sweet guys can be pushovers just like many girls can, but don’t take advantage of the situation, because it won’t keep your relationship balanced or healthy.
I’m all for a woman speaking her mind, but don’t go overboard. The goal is equality not tyranny, right?




5. Offend his friends

When you’re dating someone, it takes a while to know the history between him and his friends. Maybe they have been through a lot, and they have a love-hate relationship. The point is, never say slanderous things about your man’s friends if you want to keep him happy. Classy ladies know how to keep their words positive and choose them wisely.
When you talk about his friends, point out their good qualities, and it will build positive relationships between you and them. If your boyfriend feels like you don’t like his friends, he will feel like he has to choose between you and them, and that is not a fun feeling. So keep him happy and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.




6. Break his trust

This seems like an obvious statement, but the ways we can break trust are less than obvious. If you are in the habit of telling white lies just because it’s easy, he will notice. You will also break his trust if you often lie to other people. If he sees you lying to family members and close friends about things, he will have every reason to think you’d lie to him.
Just think about how it would look if the tables were turned. If you man lies to his best friend and says that he can’t hang out because he is slammed with work, but really wants to do something with you, that is an unnecessary lie, right? It makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it? If you want to keep your boyfriend happy, speak truthfully with everyone, not just him.




7. Be desperate

Where does desperation come from, us or them? If we are insecure, it comes off as desperation. Women often blame their boyfriends for making them feel insecure. Then we start texting them incessantly and demanding to know how much they care about us all the time.
If you show that you are insecure in the relationship, it only means you need to look at yourself. Why do you think you’re invaluable? As they say, you cannot put the key to your happiness in someone else’s back pocket.
Make a list of the positive qualities you have that you are proud of, and that he is lucky to have you for. Magazines have encouraged women to compare their looks to other women in a very biased way. If you find yourself asking how you look often, it will come off as desperate. Men love a woman that is confident with who she is naturally, and you have no reason to obsess over how you look.
Most men don’t even like lots of makeup or extremely skinny women. Everyone has different tastes and if your boyfriend is attracted to you, it’s because of your personality and who you are. So try not to smother him, give him space and show him you are independent.




8. Pressure him about the next step

It takes patience to develop a strong relationship, and if you pressure your boyfriend to move in together or get engaged, chances are he will feel like you’re forcing him. It’s best to let things happen naturally, and realize that if you get along, that’s all that matters and if you don’t get along, moving in together isn’t going to solve that problem.
If you are inclined to pressure him about the next step, it might indicate that you yourself are insecure about the relationship. Remember, titles don’t change the way you both interact, and if he has cold feet, it could be because the communication between you two needs some TLC.




9. Try to make him change

This is the oldest trick in the book. Why do we start a relationship hoping a man is going to change? It’s important to accept your boyfriend for who he is, in the flesh. If you fell in love with your idea of him, and not the real him, that’s not his fault. If you are pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do, it’s not going to make him happy.
You can really only control what you do, and lead an example through that. Often our own opinions about how someone should lead their life change over time. Think back about how many different ways you’ve eaten over the past few years.
Sometimes we get really into something and think everyone else should also be really into it. Try to let him have room to be himself, and love him for who he is, not who you want him to be.
If you try to change your boyfriend, he will feel pressure and it won’t keep him happy. If you focus on what you like about him, and his good traits, it will build confidence in him, and help him develop in positive ways. I’m not telling you to inflate his ego and ignore things that really bother you, but accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.
We all have our ways of dealing with stress, and for some of us, we play video games, some of us go hiking with our friends and some of us drink a lot of coffee. As long as he is not hurting himself or anyone else, let him work things out on his own, and just be a supportive friend. You’re more likely to receive the same treatment when you go through changes too.




10. Speak down to him

Have you ever been spoken down to? How does it feel? Not good, right? If you think you are the smartest person since Einstein, and insult your boyfriend’s intelligence on a regular basis, even if it’s in a playful way, it really won’t make him happy. Often that is just our ego barking, needing to validate itself for being so great, but it actually makes us look arrogant and isolates us from people.
A truly smart person is a great listener, and is very careful with their words. A smart person knows that to make someone happy, you don’t talk about yourself, you ask about them.
As women struggle to get equal treatment still today, we have a tendency to overstep our goals and swing too far in the other direction. It’s just as wrong for a woman to speak down to a man as it is for a man to speak down to a woman.
If you want to break down someone’s self-esteem to feel better about yourself, talk to your fish. If you want to keep your relationship healthy and keep your boyfriend happy, don’t belittle him, his ideas, or his decisions.
A man, more than anything, wants respect. He doesn’t care that much about how he looks, but he cares a lot about if people respect him. Loyalty is a deep rooted characteristic that men look for in their friends and partners. If you make him feel diminutive, he will feel like you are against him and not playing on his side.
Don’t make fun of him in private or in public, and really make sure you guard your words when you are frustrated. The easiest time to slip up is when you are feeling defensive.
One of the hardest skills to develop to keep your boyfriend happy is to keep the things you say to him and about him positive. When you are on a date, it’s easy to say nice things about him, but when you’re tired, he forgot to feed the dog, there are no groceries in the fridge, and rent is late, it’s much harder to guard your words.
If you can manage to stay calm and think about what you say before you blurt it out, it can make a huge difference in the success or failure of your relationship. Remember how stress and emotions can take hold of us and make us say things we usually wouldn’t.
Promise yourself that you’ll create a way to take a moment to calm down when you start feeling angry so as to make sure you don’t say something you will later regret.
Men can be sometimes so hard to decode and it can be a problem, because we all want to make our man happy. We all want to find a way to make a compromise and get along in the long run with our significant other.

Tips for how to be classy while waiting for the perfect man. For ladies

The happiness shown in movies does exist, but it takes more persistence to find. Toss your jaded feelings to the side and channel positivity. Dating can be an exciting time at first. As you discover that each date ends in unpleasant or disappointing circumstances, negativity fills the heart. Don’t get discouraged.

These tips will show you how.

 

1. It’s time for a reality check

TV shows, books, movies and positive stories show us that true love exists. Unlike in movies, the love of your life doesn’t arrive in an unexpected manner. Stop dreaming.
Reality is nothing like Hollywood. Several people may come your way before you meet the right person, so mingle and engage here and now. Read books and stories related to dating advice from a man’s perspective. Failed relationships prepare you to find the right person.




2. It’s about selection, not rejection

How can some women find love and others can’t? It’s all about selection. Those women know what they want. Their standards are high and they will not yield for anything less. Specifically, they strategize.
Their plan of action includes desires, expectations, deal-breakers and boundaries. Their pace is slow, and they don’t let anyone talk them into grabbing someone because the family or friends approve. Selection makes you positive because you won’t settle.
Likewise, extreme selectivity is why some can’t find dates. Examples of this include listing a certain height, hair color or income—the unrealistic standards eliminate too many people. A superhero doesn’t exist.
The average person won’t cater to you every second of the day, and no single person will meet all 200 requirements on your list. Return to earth with realistic expectations for men.



3. Shake it off

Since dating is selection, shake off bad dates. Easier said than done, right? Ladies, we take bad dates personally. You tried to compromise, but it doesn’t work well with everyone, so you let go.
Don’t let bad dates consume you. Move on to the next date, concentrate on errands, listen to music or cry it out with family and friends. Get the moody funk out.
In return, never take bad moods to a dating scene. It turns the mood sour before it gets going, and a potential mate is gone because of the bad day. Therefore, shake off any frustrations that may have occurred during the day prior to the date.



4. Get a life

Is the dating world your whole life or part of it? Enjoy life. Make money at work, hang out with friends, chat with family, browse social media, enjoy nature, exercise, find a hobby and run errands. Bills are due and chores are incomplete. Life doesn’t revolve around finding a significant other.



5. Think outside the box

In Hollywood, it takes one meaty role to break away from the typecast box. In the dating world, it’s easy to remain complacent. Break stereotyping by breaking your habits. Find dates in a different venue.
Dress differently (remain respectful). Date a different type of person. This person will still meet the standards but have different interests. Try a different activity on the date. Break the standards mentally set by you and go in a different direction.



6. Leave temporarily

The dating world becomes overwhelming when we expect the world immediately. An alternative instance is being frustrated with attracting the same kind of person. If the dating world is burning you out, leave.
Set a beginning and end during the temporary vacation. Make yourself happy with a bubble bath, massage, or doing your favorite hobby. However, during that time, analyze yourself.
What are you doing to attract these kinds of people? If you can’t analyze your behavior, your family and friends will. The responses will hurt, but if you listen to the message and not voice tone, you can rebound with a renewed purpose.



7. Rediscover purpose

What is the reason for plunging into the dating scene? An unsatisfactory answer is ‘to find a lover.’ ‘To feel complete’ is wrong because you can be complete on your own.
Dig deeper for the answer. Channel your personality and emotion for answers. Consider the benefits of companionship to solve the mystery. Why is it important? How does that answer transform your life?
Dating is a journey. Each date is a learning lesson about expectations, toleration and limitations. A failed relationship isn’t the end; it’s the beginning. Use failed relationships as a guide.
Become selective. If selection overrides desperation and people pleasing, we will find happiness. In turn, women need to become open-minded. Shutting out people due to appearance or for materialistic reasons means you’re skipping someone who could be the one for you.

The reasons why good manners are vital to a long and healthy relationship

Do you ever wonder why good manners are so important? Without proper etiquette, society would be a mess with free-for-all behaviors that would have rude people dominating those who care about others. Do you want to keep your relationship strong even after the newness has faded away?

There are many good reasons why your parents spent years instilling all those manners into you, and it isn’t just so you don’t embarrass them in public. 

 

#1 You Maintain Respect for Each Other

One of the problems in many relationships is that people lose respect for each other. There isn’t always an outside cause either. Often people lose respect for each other because they get so comfortable that they go outside the boundary of what’s okay and what isn’t.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a man who was very polite and considerate when you first got together, but then as things moves along and he became more comfortable he…changed? He began burping at the dinner table or farting in front of your friends and laughing about it. Maybe he even stopped putting the toilet seat down or putting his dirty dishes in the sink. That’s because he stopped using his manners, which means he stopped caring about what you think and, in turn, you lost respect for him. Good manners are vital to respect.




#2 You Appreciate Each Other

Another reason why good manners are important in a relationship is that good manners mean you continue to appreciate each other. When you and your partner say, “Please” and “Thank you” on a regular basis, you show each other that you still appreciate what the other person does for you.
When he opens the door for you, he shows you he still appreciates you as the lady you are, and when you say “Thank you,” you show him that you still appreciate his little acts of chivalry that make him who he is. Appreciation and good manners go hand in hand.




#3 The Kindness Never Goes Away

Have you ever seen those couples who argue all the time over petty little things? Maybe one of them says something rude and the other retaliates so they bicker back and forth eventually becoming cruel to one another? That’s another reason why good manners equal a good relationship.
It’s difficult to be kind to someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate you, and when you have bad manners there’s nothing there to respect or appreciate. In other words, you can’t be kind to someone who’s cruel, you just can’t. I know what you’re thinking: Bad manners doesn’t necessarily equate to cruelty. That’s true, but bad manners never equates to kindness either.




#4 It Prevents Petty Arguments

When you see those couples having those petty little arguments, do you ever feel a little embarrassed for them? I know I do. If they can talk to each other like that in public, who knows how they speak to each other at home. It’s uncomfortable to watch to say the least.
However, those petty arguments that happen behind closed doors are also, undoubtedly, uncomfortable. More importantly, they’re easily preventable. One of the biggest complaints I hear women have is that their husband “never appreciates” the things they do. Women tell me all the time they wish they could get a simple “Thank you” for cleaning the house, or a “Wow, this is great” for cooking dinner. Without those manners, women (and men) feel unappreciated by their partner. That lack of appreciation leads to small, often spiteful, arguments.
Another problem is that those little deeds that show good manners (such as taking out the trash without being asked or helping to clear the table after dinner) can build up levels of frustration as well. If one person feels as if they’re doing all the work, then there will be resentment in the relationship. When that happens, people argue.




#5 You Set an Example for Your Children

Why are those old black and white sitcoms considered so wholesome? They set good examples for the children. Let’s look at it from a child’s point of view for a moment. Now, even if you don’t have kids, bear with me because someday you might have children and this information will be very useful.
Children learn what they live. They also learn from what they see around them. Many kids spend hours upon hours in front of the television set, and whatever it is you’re watching is going to influence them in one way or another.
If your kid grows up watching Jersey Shore or any “my baby momma” talk show, then that’s what they’re going to equate the world of relationships with. Of course, it isn’t always as straight forward as that, and I’m not saying that watching Jersey Shore will cause young children to get orange spray tans and sleep around, but I am saying it will impact them.
More importantly, if your kids see YOU act like that, they’ll consider it normal and they’ll likely grow up and be the same way.
When you and your lover are polite to each other, you teach your children to be polite as well, not only polite to you, but polite to their significant other when they grow up. The relationships you show your kids are the kind of relationships they choose when they get older. Why would you show them a bad relationship? This is the time for you to pull out that “Donna Reed” alter ego and teach your children to respect and appreciate their partner when they grow up.




#6 It Still Feels “New”

Not only do good manners keep the respect in a relationship and help to prevent petty arguments, but good manners also makes the relationship continue to feel like new. I implore you once again to go back to those early days of dating when saying “Please” and “Thank you” was expected. Do you remember how good you and your man felt about each other when you were using your manners? Yeah.
Whenever you and your guy keep up the good manners, the relationship keeps that “new” feeling. You know, the one where you thought he was Prince Charming and he thought you were an absolute angel! Good manners is one of the things that keeps you “in love” with each other (because you don’t build up those little resentments towards each other).




#7 Your Families Appreciate it

Does your man have one of those hard-to-please mothers? Does your father hate your guy for stealing away his little girl? If the answer to either of those (or both of those) questions is “yes,” then your good manners are highly needed to ease the parenting pain.
When you show your significant other’s parents that you’re well-bred and that you were raised to show respect and courtesy to people, those parents are going to want to keep you around. That’s because they know that good manners are hard to find nowadays, and they also want to make sure that the apple of their eye doesn’t run off and marry some jerk (male or female). Believe me, nothing shows a parent you love their child more than being respectful, kind, and showing that you were raised with good manners.




#8 Good Manners are Classy

It isn’t just your parents that you want to show off those manners to; your friends also need to see them! Have you ever invited couples over for a game night or a few drinks and dinner? Have you ever seen any of those couples start arguing in front of everyone? It gets awkward real quick, doesn’t it?
Do your guests (and your host and hostess) a favor – don’t be those people. Use your manners with each other, with the other people at the party, and genuinely be polite to everyone. This will not only make sure you’re invited back to future parties, but it’ll also instill a deep jealousy in those couples who do nothing but fight (which is always a little fun, too, isn’t it?).




#9 It Gives the Relationship Equality

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I see a couple walking down the street and one of them walks in front of the other without even turning back. I really hate that. I also hate it on a date. It’s rude to be with someone and walk ahead of them. Even more horrendous is when the man is walking in front of the woman and doesn’t stop to hold the door open for her (I’ve been on more than one of these dates). It’s shameful to act that way!
When you apply your manners, you are creating an equal balance in your relationship. Two people who are polite and appreciate each other will always go the extra mile and make sure the other person is right beside them (literally and figuratively speaking). Anything less is not good for a relationship.
Using good manners is not a way of resorting to “outdated” gender roles or succumbing to someone else’s will. It’s quite the opposite. Many people assume that by using your manners with your lover, you’re not comfortable enough with that person to be yourself.
The truth is you are being more of yourself when you continue to love and respect your partner by using your good manners. You’re continuing to be the person they fell in love with, the one who appreciated them in the beginning of the relationship and continues to appreciate them. Good manners bring out the best in you, which means you’re bringing out the best in your relationship.




#10 You’re Happier with Each Other

All in all, when it comes down to it, good manners equal a good relationship because you’re happier with each other. Think about it? Could you ever really be truly happy with someone who isn’t good to you? Could you ever really feel complete with a person who doesn’t respect you and doesn’t appreciate you? No, you can’t. There’s no sense trying to pretend.
When it comes to using good manners, it’s not only good for your relationship it’s actually one of the most vital aspects of your relationship. Men and women who always use good manners with each other end up continuing the habit without conscious effort, and they are the ones who end up having a truly fulfilling partnership. Good manners prove that you respect someone. Good manners prove that you care enough about the person you’re with to be your best for them. It might not sound like much, but in a loving relationship it means everything.
Ask yourself this, would you behave that way with your partner in front of your parents? I’m not talking about playing around or talking dirty to each other (good manners does not mean no naughty time); I mean if you were having dinner with your family would you let your partner do all the cooking and cleaning up? Would you forget to offer to help set the table or help do the dishes?

 So why would you treat your lover with any less respect when there’s nobody around to see it? In fact, you should show your lover more courtesy when there’s nobody around because those private moments are the moments that really matter.

Some things that are needed to move from attraction to falling in love in men. Ladies find out

There are a few key things that men tend to need and want to foster their love for someone. Falling in love is more than just physical chemistry, although that is one part of the equation. It’s also about getting your needs met and feeling connected to someone.

Think you know what makes men fall in love? Think again. Here’s what makes men fall head over heels in love with you.

 

1. Knowing You Have a Life

There’s this idea that men like women who are hard to get. It’s a bit of a myth. What men like is women who have a life. That, in turn, means you aren’t going to go off with the first man who comes knocking.
Men want to know you test them to see if they behave themselves. If you are always available, always answer the minute you get a text message, change your schedule to fit theirs and are desperately waiting for their next phone call, it shows you’re giving yourself to them without checking if they’re worthy of you. They won’t feel like you’re a reward—a prize for them being amazing.
Now, a woman who plays hard to get gives off signs that she’s checking to see if a guy is worthy of her, even though that’s not what she’s doing. However, playing games isn’t particularly fun because chances are she’ll be hard to get and aloof at times when it’s inappropriate and frustrating.
Instead, make sure to focus on your life. Fill it with things you love doing. Get busy achieving your goals. Ensure you don’t stop working or move your focus away from your friends as soon as you get a text message. Save the text till the break or when you get home from your night out with your friends.
It’s not that you shouldn’t savor the excitement of meeting someone new because you should—just make sure your life comes first. That way, chances are the guy will think you’re amazing because you lead an amazing life and he will want to be part of that life.




2. Adrenaline

Yep, it’s true: a man rescuing you from a dragon is more likely to fall in love with you than a man who isn’t rescuing you from a dragon. Why? Adrenaline makes us fall in love quicker—or so studies say.
It might also have something to do with the bonding you do in different experiences. Having dinner with someone is a lot less engaging than going zip lining with someone (on one of those obstacle tracks in the woods or similar), where you get to chat with them, help them and together feel the fear and thrill of getting through each obstacle.
It also makes sense that you fall in love faster as you are in a heightened emotional state when you are in a fearful or exciting situation. Compare the exhilaration of skiing down the alps and then cuddling up with hot chocolate afterwards, when your senses are still tingling, to having a drink at your local bar.
Also, experiencing new things will make you feel alive—only too often do we stop experiencing life and go on autopilot with our routines. When you have great experiences with someone, you associate them with the experience. If you want to make a great impression on someone, make sure you create great experiences with them.



3. Intimacy

I’m not talking about jumping into the sack with someone, but rather being intimate with your thoughts and emotions.
Psychologist Arthur Aron and co. did an experiment in which strangers got to sit down together and ask each other 36 questions then looked each other in the eye for four minutes. The results showed that people suddenly got close very quickly.
Normally we take time to get to know each other and as the relationship deepens, we open up more. Asking each other questions that speed up this process leads to feelings flying high a lot faster. It will also help you to establish more about the other person.




4. Innuendo: Dare to Think it

When we fall for someone, we often get a bit… nervous. Suddenly, we have skin in the game because we want them and it makes us fearful of not getting them. The problem with nervousness is that it blocks out other things.
When you’re with someone, instead of bottling up your nervousness—which is like putting the lid on champagne—is that, sooner or later it will explode. Let it be. If you uncork the champagne, the bubbles will bubble away till there are none left. Nervousness is similar to that. I call it “hanging with the tension” as opposed to wanting to resolve it by repressing it, overriding it with charm or jokes, etc.
You see, once you are present and feel what you really feel, the other person will pick up on that. If all they pick up on is nervousness, they won’t feel a sizzling attraction. A little bit of nervousness every so often is cute—a whole night of it… not so much.
What attracts us to a person is a combo of things (our personality, physical appearance, intelligence, emotional state, etc.), but also sex. If you look someone in the eye, thinking about exactly how attracted you are to them, smiling and mentally alluding to what is to come, they will sense it. You just gave them “the look.” You’re promising them something—but only with your eyes.
No man will be unaffected if they’re attracted to you. Touching your leg or twirling your hair while thinking those thoughts also works a charm.
You can allude to sex in other ways, too, by touching the person, for example. If you say something like, “Well, you know, eating chocolate can be sexy…it’s such an intense taste,” they will think of sex.


Men and women are biologically wired to want sex, so whether we want it to be or not, it’s part of the attraction we feel for someone. The only way to turn a friendship into something more is if the other person suddenly sees you in a sexual light. That’s what differentiates friends from lovers.



5. Compliments

Tell a man he’s great and he will feel wonderful. Say it in front of others and he will feel like he can take on the world. The better you make him feel, the more he will like you. Keep it honest and real, but don’t be shy to compliment him. Too often, we think something without saying it.
It’s like having great experiences with someone (which is why you should go on interesting dates together): the more of a good time they have or, as with compliments, the better they feel around you, the more they will like you. It’s the basis for creating a healthy relationship as well—one where you love and respect each other and grow as a couple by doing interesting things together.

If you want a man to fall in love with you, first get a life you love, so that he can dream of becoming part of it. Then, take him on some adrenaline-fueled and fun dates, get intimate by asking questions, play with sexual innuendo and start giving him heartfelt compliments. Soon, he will be head over heels!

Things you should never do on social networking site that you and your ex are both on

Breakups are hard. You spend so much time with one person that you think could be “the one,” and then one day, you wake up and have to just cut them out of your life, as if they never made a mark. The lack of human contact is probably the number one thing people struggle with after a breakup. But that is certainly not the only thing people struggle with. The absence of someone that you’re so used to having around is hard to get past.



1. Don’t stalk him

If you’ve blocked your ex on Facebook, chances are you’ll be tempted to cyber stalk him through a friend or family member’s account. Or, you may even resort to making a fake account just to stay updated on his whereabouts. Do you see the pattern here?
Why block him at all if you’re still interested in what’s going on in his life? It’s utter madness! Block him and let that be the end. If you don’t need to be on Facebook, then don’t log in.
If you need to uninstall the app from your phone, then do it if that’s what it’ll take to prevent you from stalking him. It will be hard, but if you take this first step, the rest will be easier for you.





2. Don’t post or tweet about him

You may be a fan of posting or tweeting cryptic messages, and that’s okay—except when you’ve just been through a breakup. Remember, you and your ex’s mutual friends probably know that you’re no longer together.
Because of that, it will be easy for them to decode who your posts or tweets are about. If you can’t help but tweet about him, it’s better to deactivate your account while you’re nursing your broken heart. This way, you won’t post about anything that you’ll regret later on.




3. Don’t throw yourself a pity party online

Posting about how you feel so dumb, neglected, betrayed, etc. just to get your friends’ and followers’ attention and sympathy is not cool. You are making a fool out of yourself, and even if you’re successful, you can’t be sure that the people who comfort and support you won’t talk behind your back. So, no matter how overwhelmed you are, refrain from posting anything that will make you look like a pathetic ex-girlfriend.




4. Don’t tell your online friends about how he’s a sore loser

Posting negative comments about him isn’t going to help things, and isn’t going to make you feel better afterwards. It will only make you look like a sore loser and that’s the last thing that you want when you’re trying to pick yourself up and start over.
Instead, post things that are about your journey to singledom and nothing about your bad breakup. This will help you feel stronger and empower you to being the person you should be, with or without him in your life.




5. Don’t send a friend request to your ex-boyfriend’s new girl

Your breakup may have been because of a third party. You’re exploding with rage because of his other woman, so you want her to know that she’s going to hell for what she did to you.
You may think that sending her a friend request in the hopes of her adding you and you being able to tell her exactly what you think of her (or even to warn her) is a good idea, but it’s not. You don’t want to be labeled as the crazy ex-girlfriend, so no matter how much you’re tempted, don’t ask to be friends with her!




6. Don’t send a threatening PM

Breakups are hard, but they are powerful at the same time. They can make you feel like you’re not yourself and they can also cause you to feel a number of heightened emotions.
When this happens, you’ll feel like you can strangle anyone who gets in your way. So, exercise caution and think before you do anything rash, including sending a PM to your ex and his new girl about how you’ll punch them both in their faces when you see them in public.




7. Don’t change your relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’

Let’s face it. The realization that you’re now alone and single may be hard to accept in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean you should lie to yourself to soften the blow.
The truth is the sooner you accept the fact that you’re officially single, the sooner you can move on. So, go ahead and change your relationship status to ‘Single’ instead, and when your friends like or love your status, be sure to thank them in the comments.
Social media can make a breakup worse, but if you know who you are, you’ll be able to be the bigger person and deal with your pain in a mature way.

Women who have been cheated on, love differently, important things that you should know

Being cheated on by someone you trusted and probably gave your life to isn’t an experience anyone looks forward to, but, for a number of reasons, cheating happens, causing broken hearts and tattered souls. So, to the men who are reading this, know that dating a woman who has been cheated on isn’t for the faint of heart. If you can’t ensure that she doesn’t go through the same pain (or even worse) that she’s dealt with before, don’t even attempt to get her attention.


1. She doesn’t trust people easily

Yes, you may say that she has trust issues, but it’s only because of the traumatic experience she has been through. It’s definitely not because of you (it’s not your fault that the last guy she’s been with was a jerk).
Try to be understanding of her behavior, and work towards proving that you’re worth her trust and her heart. She’ll let her guard down once she knows that you can be trusted.



2. She wants to take her time

She might have rushed things in her previous relationship, and she doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. For this reason, she wants to take her time in getting to know who you really are and what your intentions are.
Patience is key here. It will also help that you’re consistent with what you do and say so tat she doesn’t doubt your reasons for pursuing her.



3. She’d love to meet your friends (especially those of the opposite sex)

Aside from the fact that she wants to be close to the people who are close to you, she also wants to know that the buddies and girlfriends you mention actually exist (and that they really are just friends).
She may also insist on being with you when you see your friends not because she’s being clingy and absurd, but because she wants to see how you behave with your friends around.



4. She needs your assurance from time to time

This can be tiring, but bear with her. Even if everything’s going smoothly in your relationship, she sometimes can’t keep her fears at bay.
Thus, regular reassurance from you is necessary at times. You need to remind her that you love her genuinely and ensure that your words match your actions. Never dismiss her emotions; be sure to validate them each time. She’ll do the same for you, too, if you feel insecure.



5. She may have constant questions for you

If you have a boys’ night out, she may ask where it is happening, who are you with and when will you be home. When you’re on your phone, she may ask what you’re reading or looking at, if you’re texting or who is it that you’re interacting with.
When this happens, remind yourself that she’s not being nosy—she’s trying to deal with her own fears. Answer her questions straight up and assure her again about how this is not something that she should worry about.



6. She’ll want to hear about your baggage, too

If you’ve been cheated on before or have dated women who weren’t worth your love, let her know. This way, she won’t feel alone and she’ll feel more connected to you because of your mutual experience. You’ll find that she’ll be more open to you if you are open to her, too.



7. She’ll appreciate it if you’re always honest with her

White lies are still lies. If you can’t be trusted with small things, then you can’t be trusted with the more important things. Plus, you don’t want to be lied to and neither does she.
So, be honest with the small and big things. She’s a grown-up and, even if the truth hurts, she can handle it. That’s better than being lied to.



8. She will never cheat on you

She would never wish anyone to experience the pain and troubles she’s experienced, so even if you hurt her, she won’t retaliate by cheating. She’ll let karma do its thing.
The pain and damage cheating causes is immeasurable. Even when you’ve healed, the scar remains, so remember to be careful and handle your woman’s heart with care. You can be sure that she’ll return your love and affection once she’s certain of you.

Top reasons men get rejected by the women they want

There are a number of reasons why a woman might reject a man. Most of them, the guy has some control over, although not all. Sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s not. Women get hit on and approached by guys a lot. In one way this works against you, as you’re just another dude trying to chat her up. But if you can play it right, it will work for you. Most of the guys hitting on a woman are creeps, or jerks, or just disrespectful. It doesn’t take too much to stand out above those men.



1: Need­i­ness and Smothering

This is per­haps the main rea­son why women reject men, and the topic is more com­plex than can be summed up in a few para­graphs. The bot­tom line is that women are repulsed by needy men. In prac­ti­cal terms this means that you need to demon­strate that you have a life and inter­ests out­side of your relationship.
Mak­ing a habit of rear­rang­ing your plans for her or being on call for her only shows that you don’t have any­thing inter­est­ing going on in your life.
If you’re busy when she calls then get her to leave a mes­sage, or pick up and let her know you’ll call her back when it’s more con­ve­nient. She’ll respect you more for being a man of high sta­tus if you don’t always drop every­thing for her.
Also remem­ber that you’re not the only per­son in her life so give her time with her friends and fam­ily, and to pur­sue her own hob­bies and inter­ests. Less is often more. Women reject men who make them feel claus­tro­pho­bic so don’t smother her because it demon­strates your need­i­ness and shows that you don’t have any­thing bet­ter to do with your time.




2: Inde­ci­sive­ness and Lack of Confidence

Women are attracted to men who are deci­sive and con­fi­dent enough to take the lead in rela­tion­ships. In gen­eral terms, it is the man who is expected to take the assertive role, in every­thing from the ini­tial approach, to the first kiss, and the act of sex itself. Women are quick to reject men who are not con­fi­dent enough to take the lead in the relationship.
A woman will tell you if there is some­thing she doesn’t like. Women can deal with a man who knows what he wants, but they are much more for­giv­ing of inde­ci­sive­ness. Instead of say­ing, “We can do what­ever you want”, make a sug­ges­tion or be a man and make deci­sions yourself.
Another com­mon mis­take that leads to rejec­tion is to agree with every­thing she says, or to try to find out her opin­ion on some­thing before express­ing your own. This shows that you’re not con­fi­dent enough to stand by your own opin­ions and will be inter­preted as weakness.
As long as you share sim­i­lar under­ly­ing val­ues and are respect­ful of each oth­ers views, dif­fer­ent opin­ions help to keep a rela­tion­ship inter­est­ing, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind.




3: Com­plain­ing about Ex-Girlfriends

Every­one has had bad rela­tion­ships, but keep them to your­self or you’ll only attract inse­cure women who are accept­ing of your ex bash­ing. Com­plain­ing about ex-girlfriends only com­mu­ni­cates one of three things to your date, that you:
  1. That you carry a lot of emo­tional baggage
  2. That you can­not man­age your relationships
  3. That you only focus on the negatives
None of these things are attrac­tive and will only increase your chances of rejec­tion by women. In any case it’s not her prob­lem, so deal with it your­self and don’t drag her into it.
A mature woman would with­hold judge­ment until she heard both sides of the story any­way, so don’t expect any sym­pa­thy. Your moan­ing will only demon­strate a lack of confidence.
Also any time you spend ex bash­ing can be much bet­ter used get­ting to know the girl you’re with. Take respon­si­bil­ity for your rela­tion­ships and don’t risk the oppor­tu­nity to bond with your date by wal­low­ing in the past.




4: Bravado and Self-Absorbed Behavior

There is a big dif­fer­ence between con­fi­dence and being self-absorbed, and your dat­ing life will suf­fer if you can’t dis­cern between the two. You might be sur­prised to hear that qual­ity women reject men that boast about pos­ses­sions, income, social sta­tus because it sug­gests that their per­son­al­ity isn’t inter­est­ing enough to war­rant attention.
Real con­fi­dence with women is when you don’t feel the need to impress with mate­r­ial wealth because you have your own mea­sure of self worth.
The more you try to impress women, the more you will be adver­tis­ing your weak­nesses and insecurities. This is a com­mon rea­son why women reject men, that many men are not aware of.
The best way to impress a woman is to really lis­ten to what she has to say. Be inter­ested in her, rather than try to be inter­est­ing to her. There’s a world of dif­fer­ence between the two. Self-absorbed behav­ior, like when you don’t wait your turn to talk, or you inter­rupt her when she is talk­ing, is a huge turnoff for women.




5: Poor Hygiene and Presentation

When it comes to hygiene, women usu­ally have higher stan­dards than men and this is one of the big rea­sons why women reject men. If you want to avoid rejec­tion then it’s very impor­tant that you make a spe­cial effort in the hygiene depart­ment. This is espe­cially impor­tant at the begin­ning of a rela­tion­ship, oth­er­wise she won’t bother to take the time to get to know.
Before meet­ing for a date make sure that you shower, wash your hair, wash your ears, brush and floss, clip your nails, shave or trim your facial hair, apply an antiper­spi­rant and nice cologne (with­out over­do­ing it), wear freshly laun­dered clothes and clean underwear.
Stained clothes, worn shoes, unkempt facial hair and bad breath are all big turnoffs for women. Your clothes should make a good impres­sion, fit well and be appro­pri­ate for your planned activ­i­ties, while being com­fort­able to wear.